When Grandchildren Go Marching Off To WAR. . .

I never wanted a grandchild in the military, especially with the war in Iraq looming over us. I understand the need to protect our freedom, and why the war must be fought. But, please, not my grandchild! The thought of my precious grandbaby going through the ravages of war is almost more then I can bear. Then there are the fears we don’t talk about—what if they are severely wounded, their life changed forever, or what if they don’t come back?

But now two deployments later, I have some tips on how a grandparent can cope. After all, we don’t really have any say in their decision to join the military. We can add our two cents, but the choice is theirs. One day they were a toddler, putting their darling handprints on our windows and mirrors, and the next they’re marching off to war. Coping lies in trusting a sovereign God who is in control of all of creation. Coping lies in believing that God knows best. He has the perfect plan for all of our lives and nothing happens to us without His knowledge.

When we surrender our grandchild to God’s watchcare, then we can concentrate on supplying blessings of encouragement. We can become the legs, arms, and mouthpiece of Jesus in their lives. Here are some helpful tips for being a supportive military grandparent from day one.

BASIC TRAINING is different depending on which branch of the service they are in. But one thing remains true for all. They need lots of love and support in this early stage. Basic training is a time when they are pulled from the comforts of home and plunged into the reality of military life. Phone calls, packages, newspapers and magazines are prohibited during these weeks, but you can still be a part of your grandchild’s life.

--Pray daily for them to be strong physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Pray for God to give them safety and success.

--Honor and respect your grandchild for their decision to serve our country. Tell them often that you are proud of them.

--Start writing daily notes about what you are doing. But don’t mail one every day. Some branches of the service make their recruits do huge numbers of push-ups for each letter received. They’re trying to build muscle. Be kind to your grandchild by mailing about three days of chit-chat together. They’ll appreciate your letters, but be thankful you combined them.

--Always close your notes and letters with a word of encouragement and a Scripture. Cheer them on!


--Most branches of the service have websites for the family filled with pertinent information. They may even post a daily schedule of what their recruits are doing. It’s a comfort to have some idea of what is going on in your grandchild’s life.

--Do not break the “No send” rule and mail cookies or candies during basic training. Sometimes grandparents think they are above these rule and that no one will really care. But in most cases they will be confiscated and will result in the entire group being disciplined. Grandparents, you don’t want to be responsible for that.

--By all means, attend their graduation ceremony from basic. They’ve been through some rough weeks and deserve some recognition. Be proud of your military grandchild and give them the respect they deserve!

MONTHS IN TRAINING will follow basic. Join with the family in seeing them settled, and visit them if possible. Write to them, call them, and continue to pray daily for their safety and success. They will be learning the skills that will save their life in battle.

--Encourage them always.

--Mail them cookies. Be sure to send enough for them to share with their friends. Pack them between layers of paper towels to keep them from breaking.

--Encourage yourself by claiming Scripture for your family such as Psalm 103:17-18, Psalm 91, and Isaiah 43:1-3.

DEPLOYMENT looms on the horizon and soon they have departed. If your grandchild has been deployed to the battlefield, here are some things you can do to encourage them.

--Enlist everyone you know to pray for your grandchild and all the troops daily.

-Before deployment, check with your grandchild to see if they need additional supplies. Most of them do, and not all of it is supplied by the military. Many things have to be purchased from their personal income. Family and friends can shower them with needed items. Brigade Quartermaster at www.actiongear.com is a good place to check for items that will make their deployment a little more comfortable. NOTE: At this website, you can purchase a PSALM 91 (The protection prayer for soldiers) Camo Bandana for $3.99. What a wonderful item of encouragement to send to your military grandchild.

--Run address labels with your grandchild’s address and post on a church or work bulletin board. Most people will be happy to drop a card if the address is handy and available. Be sure to post a note stating that one US Postal Stamp is sufficient for all American military even if stationed overseas.

--Ask church youth leaders, scout leaders, or schoolteachers to have their groups write letters to those in the service.

--After deployment, find out specific needs of your grandchild’s unit. Sometimes it may be hygiene items, flea collars, or supplies for the Iraqi school children. Then, enlist the help of your church, friends, or co-workers to supply these needs. You bless them so they may bless others.

--A great gift for Christmas or a birthday is a talking photo album. Take snapshots of the family when you are all together, then insert the photo in the album. They can make a recording on the strip under the picture. This will be a welcome touch from home.

--Check the Internet for additional support and tips. Just type in “Family Military Websites” on your search engine. You will be amazed at how much support is out there. You’ll be encouraged to know that you are not alone.

Before you know it, your grandchild will return home. Whether they make a career of the service or return to civilian life, you can be certain that the discipline they received in the military will benefit their entire life. They will know and value freedom in a way that most of us can’t comprehend. Grandparent, salute your grandchild! Because of them, freedom rings!

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